Think of it like separation of Church and State, or Civilian control of the Military...

September 22, 2007:  Of Nascar, Numbers and Nazis...  Besides Baseball Fans and the Aspergers cluster in Master's family, nobody venerates numbers like Nascar Fans.  Each fan has his favorite driver, and each driver drives a car with the same number week after week.  24 means Jeff Gordon, 19 is Elliott Sadler, and #48 turns left endlessly beneath the tightly clenched buttocks of Jimmy Johnson.  On America's highways, cars are festooned with little stickers featuring decorated numbers like 3 or, most significantly, 8.

3 was the number of the late, great Dale Earnheart Sr, known as the "Intimidator".  His son Dale aka Junior drives the #8 Budweiser car.  You see those numbers together a lot, right above the Yosemite Sam mudflaps  and next to the bumper sticker of the wise-ass kid pissing on the 24.

Now Junior and the number 8 are parting company - the number belonging to his step-mother.  Junior will be driving for another team with a new number.  Now, you may be asking, what the hell do Nazis have to do with Nascar and Numbers?  Well, "H" is the eighth letter of the alphabet.  The number 88 is used by neo-Nazis as short hand for HH or "Heil Hitler".  88, that's going to be Junior's new number.    If you don't think this is a coincidence, you should probably seek help...

Update: TIAA-CREF's latest ad shows much more active public sectoroids...

April 7, 2007: The investment mongers TIAA-CREF are running an ad campaign which speaks volumes.  In the commercials, often shown on Fox News, Master's power-on channel on the barn big-screen, public sector drones perform their duties in what appears to be extreme slo-mo while a sappy version of a West Side Story tune drones slowly in the background.

There is not a whole lot of action.  In a storage facility remininsicent of the last scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, a man holds a specimen jar and muses.  A clerk ponders a file in a seemingly infinite aisle of filing cabinets.  A lecturer addresses a massive auditorium of students in what is obviously one of those "101" courses which provide endless profit for the average 40K a year university.

The narrator intones how they seek to serve the public sector and non-profit areas with tailored investments - just for you - the dedicated and somnolent public employee.  As somebody who is not, and will probably never be in the public sector, this seems a trifle amusing.  These people are clearly employed, but they do not look like they are working.  They hardly seem concious. 

Ads for Pickup Trucks - a product beloved by the self-employed and derided by NPR listeners - show people working and working hard.  There's stuff being moved and mud flying and things being done.  That's the image the advertizer believes his customer has for himself, the link to the product being sold.

Contrast this to the dude holding the specimen jar and just standing there.  He's on the clock.  He's doing his job.  He just isn't moving much.  He is still getting paid.  And when he invests that money, TIAA-CREF is ready and waiting with a place for him - and the money you are paying him.  John Edwards is right.  There are two Americas.  One of them works.  The other invests with TIAA-CREF.

March 27, 3007: The Iranians are up to their old tricks.  Hostage taking is to the Iranian elite what anti-war protesting is to the Democrats.  Both relive their heady days of youth.  Both are cruising for a bruising.  Tony Blair is not Jimmy Carter.  He has, for one thing, a brain.  He also has, unlike Billy's idiot brother, a spine.  It's not going to take 444 days for Tony to take out the trash.

For the Democrats, danger also looms.  Surrender is rarely a good long-term strategy.  Nontheless, they are pursuing it pell-mell.  If they have their way, it will turn out badly.  I for one, remember Senator McGovern, appalled at the Cambodian genocide, demanding action on the floor of the Senate.   Of course, his own actions lead to that sorry event.  If we cut and run - if we leave - the day will come when the butcher's bill will demand payment. 

One thing is certain.  It makes more sense to be our enemy than our ally.  You know who we stab in the back.

March 22, 2007: Q. If Planet Earth has a fever, then pray tell what is Al Gore?
A. A suppository.

March 21, 2007: I've about had it with global warming.  The science is shaky, but that's not what gets to me.  What has my udders in a twist is the way it's being sold.  It is being promoted as settled, scientific fact with which only a crack-pot or criminal could disagree.  Anybody who doesn't fall neatly into line is treated like the One True Church treated Galileo Galilei.  Those who do not toe the line are compared to war criminals.  All scientist agree; this is what we are being told.  In fact, they do not.

Now, there are facts involved. The ability to absorb solar energy as heat is enhanced as the concentration of carbon dioxide increases.  Many gasses have this effect, including the methane I expell on a regular basis.  Of course, human activity is not the only source of these gases.  Volcanoes produce immense amounts of these gases, and lots more nasty stuff.  No argument here.

The point is made that the temperature of the Earth is rising.  This may or may not be true.  You cannot take the temperature of a planet as simply as the temperature of a baby.  The second is easy.  Grease it up.  Stick it in.  Count to 60 and read the results.  Can't do that with the Earth.  There is, New Jersey notwithstanding, no one place to insert the probe.  You have to measure at many places and perform some arcane calculations to regurgitate a number.  When you are done, you have a number.  Do this for thousands of years and you might have something.  Even then, the accuracy of the number is dependent on the quality of the modus operandi...

Unfortunately, while Moses and the Israelites were saying bye-bye to Pharaoh, they were not bothering to make these measurements.  Similarly, Pilate was too busy washing his hands of that Jesus matter to check the temperatures.  Atilla the Hun was also neglecting his climatological duties.  Most of the historic data is inferred indirectly and as such is suspect.

Our planet has been colder in the past, as in the Little Ice Age when the Thames froze each winter, and warmer, as in the Medieval Climate Optimum when Greenland was actually green.  We get warmer and we get colder.  This happened when there were many fewer people.  It depends on more than man-made greenhouse gasses.  These may affect it, but I do not see any proof I would be willing to bet my own money on.

Other people however, are perfectly willing to bet my money on it.  True believers want us all to radically change our lives to mitigate the menace they see. They are perfectly willing to flush the economy to prevent the purported man-made climate change.  Vaclav Klaus is right.  It is an ideology with religious overtones - and it punishes the infidel.  It is communism in green clothing.  I am not buying it. 

1/16/2007: I am back.  An explanation is in order.  Around New Years, the Chick-Fil-A Cow Calendar came in.  It is marvelous.  I can't stay away from it.  Unfortunately, Master caught me beefing off in the barn and banned me from blogging.

These days, Master is watching 24.  Often, when faced with a problem, he asks himself, "What would Jack Bauer do?"  Talk about taking a bite out of crime - Jack is a man who knows how to sink his teeth into adversity.  Tastes just like chicken.

12/29/2006: Sic Semper Tyrannis.  Very soon now, Saddam Hussein will be dead.  This is a good thing. In hockey terms, this is a game misconduct.  He is getting better than he gave. He killed tens of thousands of Iraqi citizens.  He killed tens of thousands of Persians because he disliked them.  He paid $25,000 to every family of a suicide bomber in Israel..  Some of those idiots killed Americans.  For that alone, he should die.  Now, somewhere out there, there is some complete and total moron who is going to try and draw an equivalence between Bush and Saddam.  Give it up.  Joseph Goebbels couldn't make that dog hunt.

Note to Albeanutjob in Iran.  You would also look good in a "string tie."

Note to Rosey:  Shut it.  Shut it now.

Note to Donald: Shut it.  Shut it now.

Note to the New York Times:  see above...

12/14/2006: Putin is russian word for "Nixon". 

Senator Johnson of South Dakota is gravely ill.  If he dies, the Republicans will control the Senate.  Despite this Master wants him to recover and return to his duties.  It's really not important, but....Senators Kennedy and Byrd are all invited to drop dead any time.  Perhaps Ted could give the Grand Wizard a ride home. 

Update: One of the ladies of "the View" wonders if the Senators illness was caused by outside causes.  Sure, it was the same guys who shot down Wellstone...

Now mind you, there is hardly any level of incapacitation short of morbidity which can prevent a senator from fulfilling his obligations.  If necessary, the solon can be, and has been, borne into the Senate chambers on a gurney.   The important thing to remember is that neither side can break a filibuster, and neither side can override a veto - whether or not Senator Johnson, recovers or not.  What remains will present the same relationship to good government as a WWF exhibition does to a sporting event.

John Kerry is bound for Iraq where he will "apologize" to any troops who do not understand his attempt at humor.  If he is truthfull about this, he will have to stay in Iraq a hell of a lot longer than he stayed in Vietnam.  Karma is one cold bitch - ask Bill Clinton.  I expect he will scrape up a few GIs who will treat him with the respect he thinks he deserves and use them in a photo op - but it is going to require a lot of looking. 

Update:  A new theory of climate change involves a man-induced wobble in the axis of the earth.  It appears to be caused by profligate ersction of Federal Projects in a jurisdiction called "West Virginia."  Before you get too worried about the Global Warming Hypothesis, review the difference between a hypothesis, a theory and a law.  Hint, you bet on laws, not hypotheses.

And I thought Japanese cars were expensive.  Meet the un-pedro.  I bet this guy is going require a lot less Midol.

12/04/2006: First snowflakes this morning.  Cold as a witches tit in a brass bra.

12/03/2006: The Jints are playing.  Love the red unis.  But hated the result.

  It has come to my attention that various adherents of a specific religion want prayer rooms provided - at no charge - at airports.  This is a total crock  First of all, it's a public place and publicly funded.  The ACLU wouldn't allow this for Christians.  It shouldn't happen for these fellows.  Second of all, it's a really, really bad idea to provide a terrorist ready-room at airports.  Now, I know that there aren't all terrorists by a long shot, but good gravy, just about every bloody terrorist is one. 

Most of all, though, I don't think that they can have a prayer room in any American airport until any American of any religion can pray without harassment in Riyadh.  It is totally hypocritical to demand at the top of your lungs a right you deny all others. 

11/24/2006: Master stumbled back in early yesterday evening, having consumed victuals sufficient to vitiate a vietnamese village for a fortnight at the family gathering at the Ford of Rollins.  He chugged a Moxie, checked the messages and collapsed in a calorific stupor.  He reanimated after midnight and filled a few more orders, chugged a few more Moxies, filled a few more orders, ran out of Moxie and went to bed.

And got up again.  Poor bugger's circadian rhythm is now completely out of whack.  And he is out of Moxie.

By popular demand - Crab Puffs a la Digga:

Take a large Vidalia Onion and chop it fine.  Saute in Olive Oil and butter till soft and translucent.  Add a half bag of finely chopped spinach and severally similarly massacred mushrooms.  When spinach is slightly cooked remove from heat.  Mix in bacon bits to taste, 12 ounces of crab, 6 ounces of crumbled feta cheese (preferably made by Bulgarians) and an ounce of grated parmesan cheese.  Season with Adobo seasoning.  Add two eggs and mix thoroughly.  Spoon into 60  filo dough cups and bake at 375 until lightly browned.  Consume and await heart attack.

11/23/2006: A word about turkey.  The wild turkey, whose local range was once confined to the bourbon aisle in the State Liquor Stores, (For those of you thinking of visiting New Hampshire, the Liquor Commission maintains enormous super-stores next to every interstate.  Please buy early and often, and don't pull the cork till you are back over the state line.) has made a big comeback.  Over the past two decades, birds released in the wild have multiplied to the point where seeing one is no big thing.  They are impressive birds and WKRP aside, they can fly - I have seen it.  They are social birds, and flocks of 10 or 20 birds are common. 

Now, in comparison to the industrial grade turkey sold in your supermarket, these birds are flat-chested.  They have a preponderance of dark meat.  Mistress Anne loves the dark meat.  (No, not that kind.)  She keeps wanting Master to run one over with the Dodge Dreadnaught, clean it, stuff it, cook it and deliver it to her pied-a-terre in Dover.  Not going to happen. Not going to happen. 

Master has finished baking the crab puffs.  They are cooling and await transport to the Ford of Rollins.

11/22/2006:  By Jove!  I think they have it figured out.  Now all they have to do is declare them independent and refuse to pay one more sou...

In the spirit of bi-partisanship sweeping our nations capital, President Bush has issued a preemptory pardon to incoming speaker Nancy Pelosi...

On this day in history, a deranged man shot John F. Kennedy dead.  Since then, John Kennedy has undergone a virtual apotheosis amongst liberals.  Some of us, however, remember the Kennedy administration.  There was much to admire about the man.  When stepping out, his taste in babes was top drawer.  JFK would not have been caught dead with any of the objects of President Clintons lust.  The rewards of seduction exceed those of harrassment.   This made it easier for the Washington press to "play ball."

When the economy started to tank, he had the good sense to cut taxes.  This is one of the few positive things a President can do to help the economy.   As we were to see in the Carter administration, there are many negative things a President can do. 

He also managed to screw up.  Inheriting a plan from Eisenhower to dislodge Castro with US trained Cubans, he hedged, fumbled, flipped and farted.  In the end, brave men died on a Cuban beach when the promised help did not appear.  This SNAFU lead to the Cuban Missle Crisis.  This was one of Kennedy's better hours, but we really should NEVER have had to undergo it.

Now, some of you may start talking about conspiracies, grassy knolls and black ops.  Stop it and take your freaking medication.

I promised to talk about presidential hopefuls.  I tried writing about George Pataki, but I kept falling asleep.  He makes me think that if he is qualified, then so is my cat.  Save your money George, save your money.  In the New Hampshire Primary, your vote count won't go triple digit.

11/11/2006: A few words from my Master:  Let us pause today and honor our veterans.  I remember those in my life:  my Father, Joseph T. Jalbert, my Father in Law, Edgar L. Poss, my uncle Walter Jalbert who died before I was born on Okinawa, my uncle, Donald Jalbert who came ashore on D-Day and lives still, and my friend Victor, who survived Cong, Koreans and land mines, but not cancer.  I remember Andy Corteau senior, who went skinny-dipping one evening courtesy of the Empire of Japan.

There were too many to record - an entire generation.  I sit here today peaceful and prosperous both because of their willingness to give their lives for our freedom, and because they had the will to do what needed to be done.  To often, we laud the former and forget the latter.  As General Patton said:  "No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He died by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his."  It is not enough to lay down your life, or be willing to.

Sometimes you need to kill people.  It's not pretty.  It's not easy, and I pray I never have to, but there it is. 

Master is a drama queen.

One of the current features of the Liberal Demonology are the major pharmaceutical companies or "Big Pharma" as they are known.  The intent, as stated is to "negotiate" with Big Pharma to provide discounted drugs for seniors under Medicare - just like in Canada.  Now, I ask you, if everybody in Canada jumped off a cliff, how many Liberals would do so as well?  Likely more than a few.

This is a terrible idea on many levels.  It will suppress the development of new drugs.  It will cost every citizen with Big Pharma in their portfolio money.  But, most of all, it will contribute to human misery.

What's this, you ask?  Is this not meant to help people?  Of course it is, but like so many things, what is intended is not all that happens.  In any deal of this sort, the drugs involved - known collectively as a formulary - are limited to a group which the company can produce at a profit and the consumer can use.  For example, if six drugs are useful, then perhaps two will end up in the formulary.  The others will only be available at a premium outside the plan.

This is fine if either of the drugs is effective in your case.  If neither works, or if the side effects are intolerable, you must use a more expensive drug outside the plan.  For most of us now, there is the option to change plans, change pharmacies, negotiate, or buy offshore.  For old people depending on Medicare, there will be no option.  Sick, old folks will either have to suffer in silence or argue with an uncaring beaurocracy to get what they need - just like in Canada.

The way I see it, you can depend on competing drug companies intent on profit and survival, or you can depend on the government to pick your drugs and set the price.  Be aussured, for every dollar Big Pharma spends on advertizing, Uncle Sam will spend three for busybodies.  The difference will be made up in the size and efficacy of the formulary.  The only winners will be Civil Servants, and you can bet that their personal drug plan will be way better than the one they administer. 

Note to Nancy:  In Canada, people are jumping off cliffs for the common good.

11/10/2006:  Happy 231^st USMC.  Be sure to wish your favorite Jarhead a Happy Corps Birthday.

11/09/2006:  The minimum wage is purportedly target number one for the Dems.  About 2% of Americans are paid minimum wage.  The vast majority of these people are teen-agers.  They aren't worth even that much.  They don't vote.  Why are the Dems so eager about an issue which offers so little apparent upside?  It may actually cost more to enforce than it will pay - after taxes.

The answer is indexing.  A whole host of union contracts are tied to the minimum wage.  When that goes up, union wages go up.  So, to give a pittance to the working poor, the Dems can reward their minions with a fat payday - and not spend a cent of their own money.

That is the MO.  Politicians - especially lefties - spend other people's money to buy themselves votes.  That is why they like to raise taxes.  The more money they collect, the more votes they can buy.  The people for them to tax are the middle class.  They have enough money to be useful, but not enough to buy protection - like the wealthy do.  Does this sound cynical?  Sure it does.  Is it wrong?  Tell me so with a straight face - I double dare you.

Want proof?  Ask a politician to define the middle class in terms of income.  You never get a straight answer.  A rich person is always somebody other than the person they are talking to. You want to see a rich person, look in the mirror - you fat cat.  The only time you aren't the target is when they talk about targeted tax cuts.  That's always somebody else.

Celebrity Jeopardy was on in the barn tonight.   It's not like regular Jeopardy.  It's more like Special Jeopardy.  Competing on regular Jeopardy is difficult.  Celebrity Jeopardy is dumbed down a lot.  In the case of one Curt Shilling, apparently not enough.

11/08/2006: Master is distraught. He is hiding out in the bunker waiting for the communists to come over the wire and lay waste to everything.  I think he is being a drama queen.  Right now he is sobbing "Not Rummy, not Rummy..." over and over again.  I'm going to keep an eye on him for a while.

Anyhow, I have truncated the blog and left you a link to my previous ruminations while I assimilate that noxious piece of software called Microsoft Visual Studio 2005.  By the udders of my mother, that is one persnickety program.  I suspect three monkeys with Notepad could crank out code faster than it does.  It's so nasty Mike Rowe wouldn't mess with it.  This page is now being maintained with VS 2005.

On the political front, every Democrat in the House and Senate under the age of 70 is standing in front of the mirror posing and dreaming of taking the oath of office in January of 2009.  Despite Masters fervent hope that Gore or Kerry will try again - when it comes to failure  they are tanned, rested and ready - it will probably be the last liberal left standing after the circular firing squad.  Any whiff of bi-partisanship will not prevail over the stench of presidential ambition emanating from the new Democrat majority.

Over the next few weeks, we are going to review the usual, and unusual suspects on both sides of the aisle.  Stay tuned as your favorite bovine serves up a smorgasbord of naked ambition and unabashed pandering.  I would point out that in the case of these people, while the ambition may be naked, they should keep both their clothes on and their day jobs.

The State of New York has, perhaps, the greatest number of would be chief executives in America.  It is the Empire state, and its leaders think big.  Whether you are a Senator, Governor Congressman or humble Major, if you can make it there you can make it anywhere.  The contenders include Rudy Guliani, George Pataki, Peter King, Chuck Schumer, Eliott Spitzer, and Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Elliot Spitzer was just elected governor of New York.  This is a job which appeals to the upwardly mobile politician.  Presidents Van Buren and  Cleaveland, and both Roosevelts were all governors of New York.     Dewitt Clinton, Thomas Dewey, Samuel Tilden, Charles Evans Hughes, Al Smith, Nelson Rockefeller were all governors and lost.  With the keys to the mansion comes an automatic bid in the Presidential Bowl Championship Series.  (Lieutenant Governors of New York, on the other hand, never even get to the big dance.)

Mr Spitzer is a muckraker lawyer.  When navigating a sewer, he will always demand a glass-bottomed boat.  The mindset of the active lawyer is not always a boon to mankind.  In his zealous pursuit of corporate evildoers (and publicity) there is the odd bit of collateral damage - mostly to stock portfolios.  I await Mr. Spitzer applying his pit bull mentality to the Presidency with less that brimming enthusiasm.

Also, who in hell could take a President named Elliot seriously.  It should be pointed out that I have no evidence that Elliot wants to be Commander in Chief, it just goes with the territory.  Next up - Georgie Boy.

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