An Urgent Appeal to the Men of France!
The Republic is in mortal danger! The glory which is France is in danger of extinction! The future of France is in your hands, well, sort of..
Over the centuries, France has defeated* every foe, the blood of the invader irrigating the sacred ground of France. Each time, les Gens have risen to the occasion. Now, you must stand up once more. Invaders ring every city in France, breeding a host of Muslim myrmidons who have no appreciation whatever for Citroen, Jerry Lewis, the sacred language of French, and the new Bordeaux.
At the same time, the men of France are shirking their historic duties. The birthrate has fallen to the point where this generation of Frenchmen will not replace itself. If this continues, the Fifth Republic will be replaced by the First Caliphate within mere decades. Only one thing can reverse this trend; the men of France must impregnate the women of France immediately.
We Americans can appreciate the enormity of the task at hand, and are ready to help. A giant airlift, equipped with reliable Boeing aircraft stands ready, loaded with hundreds of tons of soap, Nair, deodorant and Viagratm. Communication satellites stand ready to beam instructional videos 24/7.
It is a difficult task. Unfortunately, not every Frenchman is a hetero. Shockingly, not every French Woman looks like Simone Signoret. Too many look like Simone de Beauvoir. As such, the capable few must do their duty - whatever the cost. To help, we are including emergency action kits with the airlift. Each kit includes:
So mes amis, stand up for France. After all, with a 35 hour "work" week and months of vacation, it's not like you don't have the time.
